The period of our lives when we are not engaged in conscious self-awareness can be called the drifting period. It is characterised by being driven by patterns from our parents, teachers, peers and society, without grasping it.
How do we define a pattern? It’s a recurrent sequence of thoughts or behaviours that we’ve observed and experienced during childhood or later in life, coming to accept it as the sole response to specific situations. For instance, if we grew up in a household where our grandmother held the position of authority, making all the family decisions, we internalize this as the model for an ideal family structure. We never question whether it is right or wrong. Without self-awareness, this leads to replicating a similar family dynamic, where a woman’s perspective becomes the predominant factor, unconsciously avoiding potential partners who do not adhere to this pattern. Should a relationship form, it often ends swiftly or becomes marked by prolonged suffering. Another example: if we were raised in an environment where problems were hushed up rather than openly discussed, then – in the absence of self-awareness – we tend to carry this approach into our relationships. Our learned behaviour then dictates that problems should remain unspoken, hindering our ability to communicate openly about our concerns.
We all carry within us a remarkable array of patterns. The issue doesn’t lie in having these patterns but rather in being unaware of them. Without self-awareness, we tend to replicate the examples set by others, instead of evolving our own ways of thinking, desiring, and discerning what’s right to us. Self-awareness essentially involves the development of our consciousness. It pertains to what I think, what I say, what I do, and whether I genuinely wish to think, say, or do those things. If not, I possess the capacity to change; change is always an option. This process can initially be undertaken individually, yet genuine, profound self-awareness often emerges through a reflective relationship. That is, through a mirror held by one or many professionals (e.g. from the fields of psychology, hypnotherapy, coaching, kinesiology, theta healing, family constellation, etc.), depending on how well one resonates with their journey of self-discovery. This process empowers us to make conscious determinations about our reactions to diverse life situations, rather than allowing them to unfold randomly and unconsciously. For instance, even if we haven’t previously addressed issues at home, we can consciously decide that it is beneficial to engage in open discussions about how we feel. By reshaping our habits and patterns related to this topic, we can cultivate a family environment guided by principles we’ve chosen, rather than relying on pre-established templates.
Do you ever notice that discussing certain subjects causes you to quickly close off or take offense? This is a common illustration of not being aware of your inner reactions. Consequently, it becomes difficult to respond in a healthy and constructive manner to the situation. Why not cultivate the ability to openly converse about any subject? This includes discussing how the other person perceives me. If you find this challenging, there must be a reason, which I believe is worth uncovering. It becomes crucial to observe what I’m doing and determine what I want to do instead, rather than instinctively escaping the situation due to rooted, unconscious patterns.
We can lead a conscious and spiritually healthy life by examining our automatic thought and action patterns and moulding them into our desired form. If you discover a negative disposition or persistent worry, remember that change is possible! It may not happen overnight, but, depending on the specific issue, over the course of weeks or months, you can transform numerous habits and tendencies.
